Pressure Coming Down On Me

I’ve been working on essays lately about David Bowie and one of my childhood idols, Bill Cosby. I never want or expect to be as famous as them, but I do know that any amount of fame and popularity can have negative effects on a person.

Lots of celebrities behave badly to some degree or another. They’re like popular kids in school, insulated by friends and reputation from their negative impacts on the world around them. I have negative impacts on people all the time and am constantly working to be aware and improve on that.

I made a joke that I thought would support a friend. Instead he was triggered and angry. I complimented a woman’s beauty hoping to boost her ego. Instead I reminded her of how she’s often objectified. Both times I apologized and made note of the lessons I learned. Many more examples exist, and I’ll be sharing lots of them as time goes by.

Blogging started as a little hobby for me, but it’s quickly growing in importance to my life. My audience appears to be growing, and I realize that means my impact is growing along with it. That idea scares me, but I accept the pressure. One thing I don’t want is to be immune from any of those negative impacts. I ask people for feedback all the time, and if you’re reading this, I’m asking you too.

The idea of this blog was for me to learn about the world. It’s just as much to learn about myself and how I affect the world. Sometimes that’s painful. Sometimes I really feel that pressure coming down on me. But I love it too much to stop now. Bring it on.

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