I could probably write for days about gender. My biggest problem would be remaining focused. So I’m going to tap out something rather quick and hopefully quite focused which means I will be lacking in inclusiveness. I hope you’ll excuse me for that.
First, you should read this incredible post from the incredible H.M. Jones: “Why I Want to Thank You, Male Feminists”. It is incredibly insightful and wonderfully gracious. My problem is I hear this kind of thing quite often. Female feminists thank me for my efforts at trying to understand and apologize when they feel they are generalizing about men.
The gratitude makes me somewhat uncomfortable. I’m just trying to be a decent human being. It feels wrong to be thanked for what I believe we should all strive to do. On top of that, I understand they’re not trying to generalize and necessarily throw me into the crowd of men about whom they are complaining. (They would not be incorrect to throw me into that crowd. I’m quite imperfect and have done plenty of bad things due to gender socialization. But that is a topic for another time.)
All this being said, I have known some man-hating feminists. (This is another topic for another time.) If you’re engaging me in active discussion, though, then I know that you’re not just talking at me and simply pointing at me as the problem. I want to be part of the solution, and I want to hear about what non-males think I can do in that pursuit.
So go ahead, speak your minds, and don’t worry about my fragile male ego. If I’m uncomfortable with what you have to say, it’s likely that you are actually talking about me.