The Lady In My Life Part 2: The Downside

I love her, but there is definitely a downside to the lady in my life.

First of all, she is pretty fierce about maintaining independence and making sure everyone is aware of it. I offered to fix her a sandwich one day. She made it quite clear that she could fix her own sandwich and that I was not allowed to do so. There will be no making her feel like she can’t take care of herself. Don’t even think about it.

Before we met in person, we made plans for me to visit her and stay at her home. I was quite touched by her trust but wondered how she could be so trusting. I asked her how she knew I wasn’t dangerous. “You better not be a predator, or I’ll kick your ass,” came her reply. I am significantly larger than her, probably outweighing her by at least 100 pounds. Still, there is no question she could kick my ass. She is frighteningly tough. Adding on to that, she also said her dog would bite me. I’m still afraid to touch her.

Her friends are pretty scary too. I never thought I was competing for her affections until a friend of hers threatened to fight me for her. My first meeting with another friend lasted only a matter of minutes and ended with the parting words, “I’m background checking your ass!” The friend most likely to be suspected of threats and intimidation, a very large older man, greeted me with a hug. Somehow this scares me even more. At least with the other ones, I’ve been warned.

Just in case the lady in my life is actually reading this: Your friends are really sweet and clearly care a great deal about you. Not that it was necessary, but that speaks highly of you. So please don’t hurt me or let your dog bite me. I love you.

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