I Almost Forgot My Own Blogversary

I managed to post something yesterday. That was a miracle in itself. So how am I supposed to remember to post something on my blogversary? It’s the day after I already posted something.

I would love to write more often. Unfortunately, I am still deep in the grad school life. I write all the time. It’s not fun writing either. It’s boring stick-up-my-ass writing. Pages upon pages per week of that. And loads of reading. I get weeklong breaks about every 2.5 months, and during those breaks, I rarely feel like doing much writing.

This sounds like I don’t enjoy the academic experience. I do. Most of the time. I love learning. I enjoy reading research. I just do too much of it at the moment. It’s not forever, though. I’m looking to be done at the end of March.

Knowing the end of grad school is coming so soon has me antsy. I’m pondering getting a real job again. It’d be nice to have a steady paycheck and the comfort of that. Some real health insurance would be nice too. I have an abdominal injury that is doing better than it was the last time I wasted time trying to get help for it. But who knows how long that will last?

So blah blah blah. Happy blogversary to me. Maybe I’ll figure out how to do more of this over the next 12 months. Maybe that won’t come until the end of March. Maybe it’ll come sooner. Maybe it’ll come later. One thing I’ve learned is not to set expectations for that. That’ll only guarantee that I screw it up.

They’re Both Wrong; Will Both Own It?

Note: While I’ve been paying some attention to this story, I have not done the kind of thorough research I’d like to do. I’m procrastinating on two papers in order to do this, though. So please forgive me.

In case you haven’t been following the story, here it is in an all-too-small nutshell: During an altercation at the end of a game, Cleveland Browns defensive end Myles Garrett took off the helmet of Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Mason Rudolph and swung the helmet at Rudolph’s head. Garrett has been suspended indefinitely, Garrett said that during the altercation, Rudolph used a racial slur.

There has been an avalanche of takes about the incident, about the penalties, and lately about Garrett’s accusation. Rudolph issued some kind of denial, and I’ve heard a lot of skepticism about the allegation. Personally, I believe Myles Garrett. In fact, one of my first thoughts about the incident was that Rudolph probably dropped an N-bomb.

That being said, I still think Garrett was appropriately suspended. Myles Garrett himself has taken ownership of his actions and accepted that he has to be punished for his actions. Mason Rudolph was not punished (even though he did clearly attempt to rip Garrett’s helmet off at the beginning of their altercation). On the day of Garrett’s appeal, Rudolph apologized for his part, admitting he acted inappropriately. I took that as a sly admission that he had used a racial slur, although he denied that after it was fully reported. Garrett has said he did not want that accusation to become public.

One of these days I’ll get around to my gaslighting project. As I noted at the beginning, I haven’t done enough research as I’d like, and I haven’t paid the closest attention. Still, the things I’ve seen surrounding that racial slur allegation has got my Spidey-gaslighting sense tingling. I don’t think Myles Garrett was justified in his actions, but I do believe he’s telling the truth.

I used to work with violent offenders, and much of my work was centered around trying to get them to take accountability for their bad deeds. Myles Garrett acted terribly but has since done exactly what I always tried to teach my clients to do. Mason Rudolph started down that path, and I wish he would follow it through completely.

Note: After I posted this, I saw a report that Mason Rudolph was fined $50,000 for his part in the incident.